Bad Days
by EvilRegalOncer
Summary: Sometimes, even the strongest can break. WARNING: Implied PTSD.
**AN: Not mine.**

 **I think I butchered the Kryptonian language, so sorry about that. I did try, though. That counts for something, right?**

 **I fixed the formatting. Somehow some of it got lost when I posted this.**

* * *

Astra's first indication that it's a Bad Day is when she wakes up to the sound of Alex's alarm going off and witnesses the phone being thrown across the room. Alex usually sets her alarm for 4:30 AM; 5:00 on days she's feeling lazy, but she never fails to get up and throw on a T-shirt before heading to the kitchen to make coffee. Astra lazes in bed while Alex gets ready, and she only gets up when her human brings in a cup of coffee for her (the caffeine doesn't affect her Kryptonian metabolism, of course; she just likes the smell and the taste), and then they'll eat breakfast together before Alex leaves for the DEO and Astra can get started on her own day. Alex only ever throws her phone when…..

Well, it looks like she'll be needing to call the Martian and tell him that Alex won't be arriving at work today"Alexandra?" Astra murmurs, keeping her voice low and soothing. "Shall I call the DEO?"

Alex doesn't respond, burrowing further into Astra's chest, which the alien takes as an affirmative. Wrapping an arm around her human, Astra fumbles on the nightstand for her mobile phone and punches in the correct number. It only rings once before the Martian answers. " _Astra_?"

"Hello, J'onn. Alex won't be at the DEO today."

 _"Is she all right?"_ he asks, voice tinted with concern, and not for the first time Astra is grateful that her brave one has someone to watch over her. She respected the Martian from their first meeting—he had fought honorably, and she would have been glad to give him a proud death—but after seeing how he cared for Alex as his own, that respect runs much deeper. One of these days, she muses, they may even be friends.

"She will be. It's…..I believe the humans would use the phrase 'one of those days'."

" _I understand. Thank you for letting me know, Astra, and tell Alex that she can have as much time as she needs."_

"I will." Astra hangs up and pulls Alex closer, running a hand through her short hair. Alex makes a soft sound that wouldn't have been audible to human ears, but of course Astra can hear, and her chest clenches at the short, pained exhale. A moment later, she feels a droplet land on her skin. "Oh, Alexandra," she breathes, heart aching for her brave one. Brave, but still not infallible. Not unbreakable.

The first time this happened, Astra had been caught completely and utterly off guard. She'd woken to Alex throwing her phone across the room, and when she'd asked what was happening, Alex had curled in on herself and said nothing. The sight of Alex lying listless; Alex, who was normally so strong and brave, frightened Astra more than anything had before, which was saying something considering the fact that she'd seen more than her fair share of battle. Astra had snapped her cell phone in half in her haste to call Kara and nearly did the same to Alex's. Fortunately, as soon as Astra described what had happened, Kara was able to assuage her fears.

 _"It's what Alex and I call a Bad Day, Aunt Astra. It just…..look, let me come over, okay? I know you're freaked out right now, and that's the last thing she needs."_

 _"Is she ill? Should I take her to one of your hospitals?" Astra was considerably calmed by the fact that Kara didn't seem overly alarmed. Save herself, there was nobody in the world who cared more for Alex's wellbeing._

 _"No, don't do that. Just…..hold her, if she'll let you, and let her know she's safe. I'll be there soon."_

 _Astra hung up the phone and slowly sat on the edge of the bed. Now that Kara had assured her Alex wasn't dying, she had a vague idea of what might be going on with her brave one. The soldiers on Krypton sometimes suffered from a similar condition after coming back from battle. "Alexandra, may I hold you?" she murmured, keeping her voice soft and low, the way she had so very many years ago when Kara was a young child and was sick or afraid._

 _Alex gave her head a tiny shake in the affirmative, and so Astra lay down beside her, her front pressed against Alex's back. Her arm wrapped around the human woman's waist, gently tugging her close, and she tucked her chin on top of Alex's head. Alex lifted a hand and tangled her fingers with Astra's where they were resting over her stomach, holding tightly as if afraid Astra would disappear. Astra pressed her lips to Alex's hair, breathing in her human's familiar scent. "_ Throniv khap nim rrip _," she promised. "I will keep you safe, my brave one."_

 _That was how Kara found them when she arrived a short time later. Alex took one look at her little sister and immediately reached out like a child, expression achingly vulnerable. Kara barely took the time to kick her shoes off before climbing into the bed with them (Astra was_ very _thankful that she and Alex had both fallen asleep clothed, which was a very rare occurrence) and wrapping her arms around Alex. Astra remained where she was, spooning Alex from the back, and Alex reached out with her free hand to grasp Kara's. Kara kissed her sister on the forehead, pulling back a tiny bit to take her glasses off and put them on the floor behind her. "You're safe, Alex," she whispered. "Okay?"_

 _"Don't go." Alex buried her face in Kara's neck, her fingers tightening around Astra's. "Don't go."_

 _"We are both here, my brave one." Astra pressed her lips to the top of Alex's head. "We will not forsake you." The words seemed to calm Alex; Astra felt the other woman relax against her as her heartbeat slowed, and she let out a soft sigh, meeting Kara's eyes over the top of Alex's head. Kara simply offered her a small, sad smile before tucking her sister more firmly against her, and not for the first time Astra wondered just how much damage Alex hid. Strong as she was, she was still only human._

 _The presence of the two Kryptonians seemed to soothe Alex, and before long, she had fallen into sleep. As soon as Kara was sure that Alex wouldn't wake, she'd explained to Astra in a low whisper about Alex's Bad Days. "I don't know when they started….I think maybe not long after she joined the DEO, but she hid it from me. She always tries to appear so strong…..I only found out on accident because I was staying over with her one night and the next morning she had one. They don't happen often, but when they do, she never talks much. She doesn't want to get out of bed, she won't eat or drink anything…..sometimes she cries." Kara swallowed hard. "I feel so helpless."_

 _"Sometimes there are monsters even Supergirl cannot fight." In spite of everything, Astra felt a rush of gratitude that Alex and Kara were so close, that they managed to avoid the tragedy that befell her and Alura. The fact that Alex and Kara were bonded in their souls was something she had instinctively known from the first time she'd seen them together; they gravitated around one another without even realizing it, like the sun and moon on a planet she'd visited on a military tour whose name she'd long since forgotten. One was never present, could not exist, without the other. "But trust me, little one….being here with her is enough."_

"Don't go." Alex's voice jerks Astra back to the present. The words are tiny and quivering, and another few droplets fall onto Astra's shoulder. "Please…."

"I'm here. I'm right here," Astra soothes. "Would it help you feel better if I made you something to drink? Or we could watch that ridiculous show with the blue box that you and Kara seem to love so much."

Alex shakes her head almost frantically, her arm tightening around Astra's waist. "Don't go," she begs. Astra can hear her heartbeat speed up, feel the tense in muscular shoulders. "Stay with me."

"All right." Astra strokes circles on Alex's back, tracing idle symbols against scar-marked skin. "All right. I'll stay," she promises, and Alex's heart slows again. The Kryptonian's fingers trace over a wide swath of scar tissue, some of it raised and bumpy and some so slight that a human most likely wouldn't notice. The most damaging marks, she thinks with a sigh, never lie so close to the surface. "I will never forsake you."

Alex curls into her, and Astra shifts to accommodate the change, wrapping herself protectively around her brave one. One arm drapes over Alex's waist, hand pressing into the small of Alex's back and her fingers splaying over the smooth skin, as the other snakes around strong shoulders and holds tightly. At least, tight by human standards; Astra isn't even using a fraction of her strength at the moment. Running her fingers through Alex's hair, Astra hums a gentle melody, the words long since lost as she floated through space in the hellscape that was Fort Rozz. But she doesn't think about that now. That world is long gone, that world of darkness and cold and nightmares. Now she has her little one, her precious, beautiful, compassionate niece, and she has the human who fights so hard for them both. Alex is so brave, so selfless and so incredibly noble, but sometimes Astra is afraid that her protective instinct will be her downfall. She knows far too much about fatal flaws, after all, and Alex has never been one to concern herself with her own safety. Especially not when Kara's wellbeing is at stake.

 _"Zhao i vo rrip,"_ Astra murmurs, pressing her lips against Alex's hair. " _Throniv khap nim rrip,_ Alexandra Danvers." Alex hates being protected, insisting that she can take care of herself, but today, Astra doesn't expect she'll mind. She rests her head on top of her human's and closes her eyes.

" _Zhao i vo rrip_." As near as they are to one another, Alex's voice is still too quiet for human ears to pick up. Astra herself nearly misses the words. A heavy warmth settles in her chest, making her eyes prickle, although she would deny it to her last breath if asked. The sentiment isn't anything new—they've said it before, sometimes in breathless gasps or desperate cries, sometimes soft and sweet as they curled into each other, moonlight spilling across the bed as their heartbeats synchronize, and sometimes with no words at all, just the way Alex's lips quirk whenever she sees Astra trying to figure out something about Earth and the exasperated swell of affection Astra can't hide whenever Alex insists on watching the show with the blue box. (Really, even for humans, they should know better than to make such silly assumptions. That box would need to be at least twice as large as it is to be able to fit a Quantum Pocket Generator.) But no matter how many times Alex tells Astra, she will never tire of hearing it. Particularly when spoken in Kryptonese.

Astra gently coaxes Alex's head up enough to allow her to press a tender kiss to the human's lips. "If your wings are broken, borrow mine so yours can open," she breathes, remembering the words to a popular song Kara had shown her a few weeks before. Alex snorts, the tiniest of grins tugging at her lips.

"Rachel Platten? Really?"

"I thought the words appropriate. My strength is yours, Alexandra. Always." Astra tucks a lock of hair behind Alex's ear, and Alex nuzzles her chin before laying her head back down.

"Nerd."

"I will take that as a compliment," Astra says wryly.

Alex breathes out in what just might be the slightest of giggles. Astra traces idle patterns up and down Alex's spine, and Alex slowly relaxes in her lover's arms. "Astra?" Alex mumbles after a long silence.

"Yes?" Astra keeps her voice soft, mindful of the fact that Alex is nearly asleep again.

"Thank you…." The words are slurred with sleep, but the sincerity makes Astra's chest ache sharply. Alex presses her lips to Astra's collarbone in a feather-light kiss. "It helps that you're here….I'm not alone."

Rao help her, how is she supposed to respond to that? Astra tightens her arms around Alex and nuzzles into her hair, resolutely ignoring the warmth welling in her eyes and trickling down her cheeks. She is the respected General of the Kryptonian Army, and she _does not_ cry. Particularly not over such sentiment. "You never will be again," she vows, voice cracking just slightly.

"You're crying, aren't you?"

"Be quiet and go to sleep, Alexandra."


End file.
